From Low to High

Dear Nicole, 12/14/2000

I'm sorry for not writing yesterday. I got home late from watching N- and just went to bed. I went to the therapist and she agreed that D- and I are screwed up, but she did suggest that I write down some goals in all areas of my life. I did some pretty courageous things today (for me). I called all my creditors and discussed my finances. I went to see that house for rent on L-. Hopefully, I'll get the place, we'll see. I also applied for a job at the G- C-. D- is probably about to wet his pants thinking about it. She's supposed to call me tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll make it since it's 4 nights a week for 9 hours - 7 pm to 4 am. BUT I might be able to manage it with a lot of caffeine for a little while...enough to catch up on bills anyway. I feel ok about it, I mean, I am not worried about anything except getting enough sleep.

Maybe in 5 years when I am 32, I'll own two houses like D-. Both the therapist and I think that he's afraid of giving up his creature comforts by leaving J-. Even he's said something to that effect which threw me for a loop. "What if I truly love you, but am too chicken to leave my wife?" I mean is that anything he needs to be saying to me?!? Me? Miss "take-anything-and-turn-it-into-a-glimmer-of-hope"??? I don't know where this latest conversation places us, but I'm not waiting for him to get his crap together to get myself together.

Speaking of which, I need to go to the bank and deposit Dad's Christmas gift - $25!!! And take back all those library books. God knows what my charges are for those books. Talk to you tomorrow.

Annie

ps. Bush is president! Ugh!