Birthday Follow up

Dear Nicole, 12/12/2000

Well, I couldn't muster enough energy to get out of bed today, so I called in sick. I slept until Y- called and then finished my book. Then I went to see N-. We did her Christmas cards and I fixed her dinner. I came home after thinking I had a therapist appointment tonight. I did some shopping beforehand, spending money I don't have. I watched "Centerstage" and then while rewinding, decided to check email. D- had just emailed me to say he was online. We IM'ed for about 3 hours. At first he was turning things sexual and after we took a 1/2 hour break for him to talk to his wife, I started asking him some questions about us. That took an hour in itself.

We're pretty clear that we have chemistry and we like each other. Kind of like the first blush of a relationship, but don't know enough about each other to take it further. He did tell me that I fulfill a need for him that J- doesn't and he's afraid they'll never get it back. Does that mean I'm to fill that need forever or until he decides he doesn't have that need anymore?

I really hope J- is praying for me everyday because I certainly need it. I need help in every way imaginable. Just jump on in - don't wait for an invitation!!!

Well, it's late and I have to be up in a little while so good night.

Annie